I moved from New York to London last December. The farewell note I meant to write inevitably morphed into a reflection post on the move across the pond. Moving out of my Upper West Side studio, an overdue trip back to China, the final departure for London, moving in with Toby, and starting a life while re-establishing routines in a new city—lots have happened in the last stretch of 2024. Instead of a shock to my system, everything seemed to have moved forward organically in a meant-to-be way. While I continue to be amazed at how life moves forward in unexpected ways, I feel like I am in the right place.
Since college, I’ve always thought of the US as a temporary stop before trying to live elsewhere. While I’ve been toying with leaving New York for the last two years, the decision was harder than expected. All the comfort zone scares I thought I’d be too cool to be subject to were all very real. The thought of uprooting myself from the people, culture, and places where I spent my adult years was scary—there seemed so much to worry about for my uncontrollably rational mind. Meanwhile, it’s an exhilarating kind of scary—like traveling to an unfamiliar place or learning a new language. I’ve always lived for adventures and taking a leap of faith when opportunities present. When I told Xiuzhi about my decision to move, he told me that three years make a chapter—honeymoon, stabilization, and inevitably seeking the next adventure. Looking back, I realized I’ve never lived in the same place for over three years since I was 18!
Before I left New York, I thought very hard about what I would miss about the city. I came up with: jazz, bagels, having old friends one call away, park walks, and the sunrise and sunset from my windows and along the rivers. I thought of many blissful, delightful moments from countless walks, the joy of discovering somewhere for the first time and noticing nuanced changes in familiar places. I thought about the people who share these precious moments with me—like in that one stormy summer evening at Lincoln Center plaza, when it started pouring, all the New Yorkers went to hide under the colonnades while continuing watching the opera standing shoulder to shoulder.
Of course, regardless of how well-prepared, goodbyes always seem rushed. My last day in New York was full of joy: sunny, leisurely winter day, crisp air, tall blue sky. Kim, Juan, Julia, and I “played” at Luna Luna. I still remember the magical moments filled with vivid colors, flashing lights, and whimsical, animated sounds and customs. The show was full of cheerful spirits and a timely reminder that we are all just kids who want to play, especially with each other.
With heart full of gratitude, I was sent off by my best friends in New York (and Miranda even came to London for our little farewell!) The hardest part of leaving somewhere is leaving the people who make me feel at home. During the quiet holiday week, I reflected upon the importance of meaningful relationships. I thought of friends who listened and cared for me during downtimes and those with whom I traveled near and far and shared beautiful experiences—arts, music, films, poetry, ocean, lake, mountains, forest, icebergs, delicious food, and endless city walks. I thought of people who shared idle hours with me, pondering the meaning of life and ranting about adulting. I felt so lucky to grow up with a few friends who truly SEE me, care for me, cheer me on, and keep me in check—people who make me feel safe even if I fail, and for whom I want to be a better person.
Three months into London living, here are a few life reflections top of mind:
Moving in together is FUN. On top of moving to a new city, deciding to live together was a milestone for both of us. The challenges are real—differences in lifestyle and taste show up in big and small ways, what’s shared vs. separate, communicating and solving problems effectively, and finding space for our own “secret single behaviors”—but all of these push me to show up better for people I love. At the same time, building a life together is fun—obsessing over fancy kitchenware, trying new recipes, hosting together, and developing walk routines. Sometimes it’s still wild to think how we got to where we are.
Life is loosening up. There’s something about the village nature of London that inspires more leisurely living. In Manhattan, the physical density makes it hard to escape from other people’s energies, and negative emotions tend to be amplified. The base level of stress and anxiety is alarmingly high. Thanks to a more flexible work schedule, I can sometimes sneak in a leisurely morning before entering corporate life. Walks in Hampstead Heath, runs to Regent’s Park through Primrose Hill, stopping by my favorite park cafe in Clerkenwell before office, and afternoon walks to Lincoln's Inn Fields—as the days get brighter, park life has become an integral part of my city-country living. With more headspace, my creative brain feels more active.
A new cultural environment challenges my status quo. Adapting to the British ways is frustrating at times but fun. The “rules” are subtle and coded (and so many), but it’s entertaining to observe with humor. As I notice my Americanness, I’ve also started to question things that seemed matter-of-fact. When I told a colleague from Paris that I found our office nice, she explained how she found it too American and patriarchal—“Everything is so convenient that you never have to leave the maze. You can walk a little and go find lunch and a gym outside, you know!” I’ve learned to take it slow and acknowledge not everyone optimizes at all times and not everything needs optimizing. It’s refreshing to exit the rat race and question the WHYs more.
I want to do more creative work. Having more headspace allowed more inspiration to spark. The sense of aliveness is, I imagine, what the Greeks called eudaemonia. Office life is in many ways anti-human—the level of creativity, self-expression, and social connection felt strictly controlled (if existing at all). We don’t work with our hands (not counting typing), and the output is very abstract and remote from any actual impact on other people’s lives. How can we meaningfully connect with others and find our herd if we’re not doing and sharing creative works that showcase who we are? I’m constantly inspired by my friends Miranda and Kim, whose amazing works remind me to keep expanding my creative outlet.
Last but not least, if anyone wants to stop by London or has someone/something to recommend, I’d love to hear from you! I will try my best to stay diligent in keeping this blog alive (again).
P.S. I added you to the recipient list because you’ve been part of my meaningful memories in the last two decades. I won’t be offended if you unsubscribe!
你离开后整座纽约都在哭泣
看到你的生活那么恬静为你开心!!!
SO happy for you!
London is a magical place. I still miss the two years living there.
Will definitely go visit you:)